Anyway, looking at the calendar, i realised we're actually less then a week to go for our 4th month together! =) Not bad huh, since we're both rookies in this game of love? haha. Who would have thought we can last 4months when we already started questioning ourselves on our very first week together. Although our dates haven't been all that happy in recent times, i doubt i'll ever forget those wonderful times you spent with me during our 'ai mei' period you so often mentioned about. Hate to believe the myth that love only happens during that period.. =(

Today, you passed me the love journal and after reading what you wrote, i was feeling quite uncomfortable with the fact that the 'spark' was indeed missing. Again, i started asking if i rushed too fast in getting myself into a relationship and whether i've picked the 'right' girl a not. I tried forseeing into the future and tried picturing the both of us going out on a date and with nothing much to talk about. Each time i thought about that, i will be fearful of the future-fearful of the above happening. Another thing that bothers me quite abit was the fact that we're barely 4months into a relationship and words like 'boring', 'missing spark' and 'uninterested' are already appearing. I dare not look into the distant future when we're say 1-2 yr together? Will things deteriorate so much so that we grow bored of each other and don't feel like meeting? Also, i use to think communication between couples was easy, but i 've proven myself wrong. Many a times, i have so much to tell you that i swore to tell you the next time i see you. Come actual day, i just couldn't find the right words at the right time. Just like that, many of the things i wanna talk to you about gets 'lost' and over time, i guess all these thoughts compiled and all the unhappiness/happiness i wanna share with you goes missing as well. I think you've experienced the same problem too? Quite frustrating when i think abt that.

However, whenever i met you on our dates, i do not feel any of the above like fearful of the future and stuff. Instead, im able to paint a rosy picture of us together. Are all these thoughts rational and irrational like what you went through before? Anyway i hope im not thinking too much and i hope this entry do not upset you in any way dear.

Despite saying all this, i still do not regret what i've done over the months after A's and just like before, i've not grew bored over you. I also realise i've not fallen in love with you before.... Instead, i've grown more and more in love with you. So i guess theres no falling out of love over you dear. =) Even if there are arguments every now and then, im more then willing to sort it out with you rather then run away from you and our problems. I really believe we can revert back to how loving we were even after the fierciest of arguments (touchwood!). haha. =) All this while, your dumbass bf has failed to see that you're always trying to make a point that my height was the main factor in you not wanting to accept me. Somehow, i always make a joke out of it and fail to acknowledge the fact that you 'scarificed' alot by choosing to be with someone like me? My apologies too if you find me abit boring at times because i isnt really a great guy to be out with. My indecisiveness must have make your blood boil at times too huh? haha.I'll try to improve on the following areas especially the one on being more romantic to my dear girl? haha. Love you lots and i still love you, not any other girl despite our relationship hiting the rocks at times. Lastly, thanks for puttting up with my stupid attitude and i really appreciate the fact that you can oversee/accept my flaws and still want to be with such a joke like me. You must be the BIGGEST dumbass after myself i've known. =D