Monday, April 7, 2008
Heartache or Hard Egg
The time has come. Minutes slipped and hours flew, days crept and weeks crawled. Enlistment Day is finally here. This morning, i woke up with a heavy heart. So heavy it prevented me from waking with a smile. Thoughts soon flooded my small puny brain and i was left drifting in my thoughts floating aimlessly in the wilderness. I felt lost even though i was at home, lying on my comfy bed. For so long, i haven't experienced this feeling and now, i'm getting an overdose of it. =(
Although it seems silly that i'm getting all depress over this whole thing about me being a soldier, i guess i was more concern with the fact that i have every chance of reverting my status back to being a single. Even more so when so many cases are already happening in front of my very eyes. Nevertheless, i won't be giving up without a fight! =) In fact, i'll be trying my best to prove many doubters wrong. Hope you're not one of them, dear? =)
That dinner at Cafe Cartel was great that night but as i passed you that letter on the way home, i was a little disappointed that there wasn't much assurance to suggest that we can stand the test of time and space. Maybe i was too sensitive once again? Hope im wrong! =) If you ever feel its tiring or that you're carrying the bulk of the burden by yourself must let me know ok? Just want you to know that my heart will always be with you even if i may not be by your side physically.
Anyway, you're always told me i may be the one to walk out on you next time huh? Is that under the Aeries traits as well? haha. It is also due to this that i always tell myself and you that i must make you my first and last girlfriend to give some kinda assurance. Same goes for the reason why i always tell you my long term plans, as far as to the point on wedding bells =p Call me naive or stupid but that's the way i choose to believe in our love and somehow, i really believe that our love won't fizzle out just like that. Unless that Chong Lye appears? hahaha. Ready to give it a shot and put our relationship to the test? Seems we do not have a choice huh dear? At the moment, everything is still in the grey but one thing for sure, i'll miss you like crazy in those 17days of confinement.
Dear, still remember our target setting? =) Right now, we've 7 weeks down and 97 more to go to achieve that elusive target! This is indeed ambitious so if you wanna down that target to maybe 5-10 weeks first, let me know too ok? If that makes you comfortable with one step at a time. =) Looking at my cousin's case, it seems they're coping fine and doesn't seem to be struggling. Of course, there's also worse cases like the one where my cousin's going overseas while her bf's going NS too. Can count myself lucky to not be in my cousin's bf's shoes! Right now, im setting my sights on making full use of my 2 yrs in NS and not let it go to waste. Hope NS can make your wolfie a better man so as to become a better bf to you as well! =)
I guess by the time you're read this, i would have my hair shaved and living in tekong le. Nevertheless, you must remain cheerful and not feel lost cause i'll still be able to call you just that can't see you that often... Anyway, must continue to look on the bright side as you never know what surprise is coming your way! *winks =p
I LOVE YOU HONEY!
`iRained
signing off at 9:35 PM
